Procrastination
Iām overthinking cable management again. šš»
Had quite a productive day. Learned that not all quotation marks are the same, cleared out DEVONThink, tidied up Notes and redownloaded Native Instruments plug-ins. š»š
Thatās DEVONThink emptied, with hundreds of bits of information split between Notes, Safari (Bookmarks & Reading List) and photos in the Apple ecosystem. Itās a great piece of kit, but as I use my iPhone and iPad mostly, I canāt afford to renew DEVONThink To Go. š»šš
Starting to get a little overwhelmed with everything I want to do, ending up doing absolutely nothing as a consequence. Iāve been here before, Iāll sort it all out. š
Right then polytunnel, weāll see just how much I can clear you before the play-off final starts. š±ā½ļøš
Posting this to try and bully myself into starting to clear what once was a beautiful vegetable patch and polytunnel. šš±
Itās incredible how moving junk from one place to another just puts off the inevitable need to tackle said pile of crap. š
I love MicroBlog, but the coding and suchlike goes way over my head and trying to get plug-ins to work goes confuses me at times. Should plug-ins work automatically? Am I missing something?
NaNoWriMoāWeek Three.
Just over 41,000 words written and despite running out of road, I havenāt stopped driving. Or learning, thereās been plenty of that as well.
Things Iāve learned:-
As Terry Pratchett so eloquently said, Thereās no such thing as writerās block. That was invented by people in California who couldnāt write.
I actually thought this was nonsense, to be honest. The unfair ramblings of a genius writer. I imagine, now, he had days that he had to drag the words out, but writerās block? Nah. The words may be absolute rubbish, but theyāre still words. In among the poor descriptions, tedious dialogue and other nonsense is something. That something doesnāt even have to take your story anywhere, it doesnāt even have to be part of the story youāre working on. Just write; write anything. Donāt think, either (that part actually comes effortlessly to me, I have to admit. I can spend hours not thinking, I can do that in my sleep.)
So yes, just writeādonāt judge as Right Said Fred in the nineties. Possibly, I wasnāt paying attention.
The other thing Iāve learned about my writing is this:-
I need to plan.
Another genius writer, Stephen King, was pretty disparaging about people who plot books and donāt just see where the story and characters take you. It works for him, the man can write. For me? No, a disaster.
Iād planned, haphazardly, scenes for the first half of the novel. Little notes about scenes, the next scene, that kind of thing. When I ran out of markers, I ran out of story. The climax came almost half-way through, which rendered my mind blank.
That said, itās got me thinking about that climax. It isnāt the climax, itās a step-up to that. I need to make the climax even more exciting, I need to write three or four more climaxes and push myself. I must give my characters three choices of road, two of which lead to paradise, passive woodland creatures and a waterfall made of chocolate (I think Iāve been beaten to that idea, so thatās probably a good thing). No, Iāll send them down the road marked āDangerā with glowing eyes peering out of the tree-line, ghosts telling them to turn back and an utter disregard for common sense. Thatās what Iād like to read, anyway.
In just these situations, Eoin Colfer often writes They do something clever to escapeā¦ and moves on with the story. I like that advice.
My book, that story that has been rattling around in the empty space I call a skull for some twenty years, wonāt be completed this NaNoWriMo. And thatās OK, Iāve accepted that. Iāll have 50,000 words come the end of it, that I guarantee. Lots of story, loads of learning, and the seed, the nucleus, for the proper attempt Iāll makeāplanned, plotted and crafted meticulouslyāto take it over the line.
NaNoWriMo.
Like many of you on MicroBlog, Iām going to give NaNoWriMo a good go this November. Like some of you, Iāve tried before and like a few of you Iāve failed to get anywhere near the 50,000 words ā or even get a decent routine going - in previous attempts.
Itās fair to say that being a procrastinator is a barrier to achieving a lot in life. Procrastination is an extension of anxiety, anxiety is an extension of poor self-esteem and fear. There are those out there who fly through life with little more than a winning smile and an outrageous amount of bottle. I admire these people, I really do, but from a distance and without interacting with them.
I left my career as a mental health nurse in 2018 after some twenty years. Truth be told, I wasnāt ever enthusiastic about the job. I cared, and I always treated both the service users and staff with respect, but I fell into the career as both my parents were mental health nurses, and it seemed like the right thing to do. There wasnāt any pressure, I think I lacked imagination regarding opportunities and seeking those opportunities out.
Anyway, a few days before my final shift, I had an epiphany. I was still a staff nurse, the same grade (essentially) as the day I qualified. Nothing wrong with that, plenty of nurses stay a staff-nurse and work happily until retirement. The difference was, I was a passenger in my own decision. It wasnāt a conscious one, I had just remained a staff-nurse because I hadnāt tried to push myself any higher.
This turned my mind on to my dream career as a writer. Iād tried, and failed, to get a routine going with my writing and always quit when things got tough (which they always do, donāt they?) Even now, Iāve got a completed story ready to send off to agents that Iām procrastinating/scared about. Iāve drafted that many times, Iām starting to go cross-eyed. Sure, it isnāt perfect ā but thatās the thing; if a writer is waiting for the perfect draft, then no stories get completed. At some point, it has to be set free and, of course, better ideas and ways to improve it will inevitably come to mind.
Which Leads me toā¦
The reason for this blog. Tomorrow (31/12/22) I am going to send my story for younger children off to five agents. Chances are, no-one will be interested, but you know what? Iāll send it off to some more.
Meanwhile, in NaNoWriMo, I will do everything I can to write a story that has been hanging around my brain for over two-decades. Iām scared stiff, to be honest. There are plots Iām stumped over, but I believe if you put the effort in, then the universe will drop the answers in your lap ā as long as you keep your eyes open.
This is my way of keeping myself accountable, and I intend to blog every Sunday to update my progress.
Thanks for reading.