Writing
5,336 words total, 2,949 words today for NaNoWriMo. 💻📝📚
First day of NaNoWriMo. 2383 words. 📝💻📚
So then, I’ve just sent my children’s story off to my first choice agent. A massive step for me, genuinely. I’ll sent it off to another four agents tomorrow. I know it’s unlikely I’ll get any joy, but the symbolic letting go of it is important so I can move on. 📚📝💻
NaNoWriMo.
Like many of you on MicroBlog, I’m going to give NaNoWriMo a good go this November. Like some of you, I’ve tried before and like a few of you I’ve failed to get anywhere near the 50,000 words – or even get a decent routine going - in previous attempts.
It’s fair to say that being a procrastinator is a barrier to achieving a lot in life. Procrastination is an extension of anxiety, anxiety is an extension of poor self-esteem and fear. There are those out there who fly through life with little more than a winning smile and an outrageous amount of bottle. I admire these people, I really do, but from a distance and without interacting with them.
I left my career as a mental health nurse in 2018 after some twenty years. Truth be told, I wasn’t ever enthusiastic about the job. I cared, and I always treated both the service users and staff with respect, but I fell into the career as both my parents were mental health nurses, and it seemed like the right thing to do. There wasn’t any pressure, I think I lacked imagination regarding opportunities and seeking those opportunities out.
Anyway, a few days before my final shift, I had an epiphany. I was still a staff nurse, the same grade (essentially) as the day I qualified. Nothing wrong with that, plenty of nurses stay a staff-nurse and work happily until retirement. The difference was, I was a passenger in my own decision. It wasn’t a conscious one, I had just remained a staff-nurse because I hadn’t tried to push myself any higher.
This turned my mind on to my dream career as a writer. I’d tried, and failed, to get a routine going with my writing and always quit when things got tough (which they always do, don’t they?) Even now, I’ve got a completed story ready to send off to agents that I’m procrastinating/scared about. I’ve drafted that many times, I’m starting to go cross-eyed. Sure, it isn’t perfect – but that’s the thing; if a writer is waiting for the perfect draft, then no stories get completed. At some point, it has to be set free and, of course, better ideas and ways to improve it will inevitably come to mind.
Which Leads me to…
The reason for this blog. Tomorrow (31/12/22) I am going to send my story for younger children off to five agents. Chances are, no-one will be interested, but you know what? I’ll send it off to some more.
Meanwhile, in NaNoWriMo, I will do everything I can to write a story that has been hanging around my brain for over two-decades. I’m scared stiff, to be honest. There are plots I’m stumped over, but I believe if you put the effort in, then the universe will drop the answers in your lap – as long as you keep your eyes open.
This is my way of keeping myself accountable, and I intend to blog every Sunday to update my progress.
Thanks for reading.
I’ve sent a few request on the NaNoWriMo site to those I can find from here. The search function is hopeless on there. Anyway, I’m Ben Southwood on there if anyone wants to buddy up. 💻📝📚
Trying to get my writing space decluttered ahead of NaNoWriMo. 💻📝
I’m in the market for a new iPad having sold my Pro last year. Does anyone have experience of the iPad Mini, because that’s what I’m leaning towards?💻📝
Drafting and drafting again. At the end of the month I’m going to send my children’s story off to some agents. 📝
Hopping between Ulysses and Scrivener like an indecisive idiot. Pick one, Benjamin. Love it and caress it, don’t be turned by the other’s shapely curves or faithful, reliable demeanour. 📝
Had a bit of a crisis of confidence with my writing of late, but received word that I’ve been longlisted for Searchlight’s ‘Best Children’s Bedtime Story’ competition - which has perked me right up. 📝
Oh, procrastination is kicking my arse at the moment. 📝
Still dipping my toe into Obsidian, may well go for a nice paddle next week. Although it still appears to be complicated, it still has my attention. 📝
I had a bit of time away on a writer’s retreat in beautiful Connemara this weekend. 📝📷
So then? Will this be the week when I finally get that writing routine in place? No school runs, nothing much else to do other than housework and a bit of gardening. Procrastination, I will kick your bottom!🖥📝
I need to desperately declutter my living space, my writing space and my digital apps. Everything is so messy, my mind is wrecked and I end up doing nothing. 📝
Loving the Ulysses integration.
The Four Squirrels of Procrastination.📝
We have all, at some point, battled procrastination. Honestly, me typing this is a clever and ultimately pointless attempt at avoiding doing the proper writing of a proper book that I’ve been putting off some 20 years now. It isn’t that I don’t want to, but when one — or all — of those squirrels pokes their cute furry head in my line of vision, I am powerless to resist.
Like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, these squirrels will destroy humanity given the chance. I HATE them, but they are so bloody irresistible.
Imagined arguments.
Hey! Remember that disagreement you had with that person at work 15 years ago; wouldn’t it be fun to replay it over and over with every conceivable outcome?
Well, not massively — no. Sounds like a meaningless and ultimately damaging way to spend time that I could be writing that story you keep on at me about, Squirrel.
Work with me, try it. From the top: we’ll start with the actual outcome, move on to a situation where your sparkling wit and repartee win the day and down the line we’ll get to the situation where you end up on the roof, shirtless and shouting abuse at the pigeons.
Thirty minutes later, adrenaline surging from an argument that never happened with people I’m never likely to meet again I’m far too angry to even contemplate writing. Besides, all that fighting has left me a bit peckish.
Snacks.
Maybe a bit of a feed will ease your troubled mind and give you a chance to work out that plot-hole that’s been eluding you?
OK, I asked my wife to stop buying snacks because all too often I find myself elbow deep in a tube of Pringles when I’m not actually that hungry; BUT I know that she knows that when I ask her ‘not to buy snacks’ what I actually mean is buy the snacks anyway and hide them somewhere I can easily find them.
And so, like Bear Grylls, I embark on a dangerous quest to find the forbidden treats to feed my rapidly expanding and not at all empty tummy with food I don’t even particularly like.
Disgusted with myself, having still not done any writing, what could possibly make me feel worse?
Social media.
I’m sure it will be different this time, all the arseholes will be gone, and it’ll be just the nice people online. A quick peek, maybe send a reply or two, then on with that story. I PROMISE!
Two hours later, 300 replies deep into an argument between two people I don’t know regarding a subject I couldn’t care less about, there’s only one thing left to try to get those creative juices flowing.
Naps.
_Don’t think of it as time asleep. What will happen is you’ll enter into a meditative state, that sweet spot between reality and imagination. The ideas will flow, you definitely won’t forget any of them, and you’ll be back on track. _
An hour later, unsure of who I am and what year it is — let alone being creator of worlds and plotter of twists — I wipe the drool that’s pooled in my ear and try to work out where it all went wrong? No point in doing anything now, it’s the school run in an hour.